What is a Date?

It amazes me how many romance writers move through an entire relationship without the couple experiencing a date, casual or formal. There are so many opportunities where the couple could help each other out in this area, at a business function, both going somewhere together, finishing a task and spending the evening at one of their homes.

When I do see a date in a blog, I am constantly asking myself if the writer actually understands the difference between a date, hanging out, or foreplay.

One thing that differentiates a date from two people hanging out is that they share personal information. Planning a date, even an informal one, is a perfect breather for any story. It is a great turning point, or a lead up to the first climax in a dynamic plot.

It is also a great place for character growth, a chance for the characters to look at their lives, and have someone else give them a different perspective on life.

Unfortunately, in real life, a date is rarely more than two people pretending to be something they are not, so the other person will like them. I’ve known people who dated for years, only to wonder how they ended up married to a stranger.

In fact, a date should be where two people stop pretending and relax. It is a bonding experience. However, the first date should not lead to sex. While this is real in today’s society, you are writing a romance. A romance novel is about building a relationship (in most genres) on trust, respect, and honour.

Both people in a romance story need to be respected by themselves, and the other person. A great way to show this is by having them date, but respecting themselves enough not to have sex and ruin something good by moving too fast.

Next time you are writing a novel, and need to improve motivation, or a relationship in your novel, think about adding a date.